This thing happened this week.

On Tuesday my mom texted me to let me know that my grandma was in the hospital but not to worry.

On Wednesday morning/afternoon my mom called me telling me I might want to come home.

I rented a car and spent Wednesday and Thursday at the hospital with her and rest of the family.

By Thursday her body was shutting down, and her kidneys had completely stopped working.

I came back to Toronto on Friday so I could get back to work.

Today I talked to my mom and she said she was heading over to the hospital.

About an hour later my dad called to tell me she had died before they even got there. 

I decided to do two workouts today, but now that I’m done one, I don’t want to.

Can’t I just be done?!

I did it. I worked out :)

I missed yesterday’s if I’m being honest. A friend of mine is going to Korea for 3 weeks and I absolutely needed to talk to my friend who’s moving and so I spent the day doing those things instead. I feel a little bad about missing a day, but I don’t regret it.

So, since yesterday was supposed to be my Monday for T25, I did mondays workout today, Im keeping tomorrow’s normal since it’s the total body workout, and I’m going to do Wednesday’s and Thursday’s together on Wednesday, Friday’s workout on Thursday, and then I’ll be all caught up and on track and where I wanted to be.

I am so tempted to check the scale even though realistically I won’t see much difference, and even though I’d probably be better off just not checking for the full month, but I’m really going to try to stick it out until Saturday, which is when I believe I had set my goal for?

Regardless of what the scale says, I’ve been feeling great, eating better, and just generally feeling slimmer. I was feeling really bloated for awhile, so it’s probably that, but I’m proud of myself for not only sticking to my workouts, but trying to very conscious of how I’m eating, but almost more importantly, how I’m snacking!

I started my period last week, I got some pretty crushing news on Friday, and yet no snacks were had. I didn’t console myself with chips and chocolate bars, and ice cream. I ate normally and was miserable for awhile because realistically I know it wouldn’t have made me feel better anyway.

I know I’m not so evolved to be past treats and emotional eating, but it still felt good to just be aware and be in control even at a time where everything felt so crazy.

On another note, I’m pretty much in the process of sealing the deal for my first paid writing job. Like, I’ve been talking to the publisher, and he’s sending me the contributor’s package tomorrow. It’s still really early, but this is a pretty huge deal.

ANDDDDD lastly, the other day, a girl at work and I were talking about our bodies and she say’s “You’ve got a nice body though! You’ve almost got a latino body. You’ve got curves, but you are definitely not fat.” This girl is so sweet, and though it sort of came out weird, I really appreciated it. I’ve always been a little obsessed with the thought of how people perceive me, and that because we are limited to one perspective of ourselves, it’s difficult to understand how people actually see us sometime.

Its so stupid that almost 50lbs later, I needed to hear someone tell me that I wasn’t fat, but I did.

It’s 3:30, and I’m still awake because my best friend is officially moving to Houston, and I’m just sitting here crying looking at the prices of plane tickets. 

Everything is still really up in the air. We had all these plans to go to Montreal and a friends wedding together and generally to see each other pretty much whenever we wanted to because we only lived a few hours away, and know who knows what will happen.

I always knew he would move, but I always expected it to be closer. We talked about it. We talked about being in the same city. I’m fucking so happy for him, and yet it also feels like like fucking worst thing to happen, and nobody fucking gets it. I fucking love this kid, and I already only see him about 5 times a year.

This is the worst.

Cramps so bad I’m literally holding my breath. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Okay, I’ve now applied to 4 or 5 real jobs, can we all just collectively join internet hands and hope I get one of them?!

Thanks :)

Ps. Someone come and do my hair and makeup while I’m writing these stupid articles. Greattttt

So, as expected, I am not nearly far enough on my articles for today to get my workout in a shower before work. As I’ve said before Friday’s suck for me. A friend sent me an ad for a writing job yesterday, so while I was supposed to be working on articles, I was really beefing up my resume and coming up with coherent answers for the questions they wanted answered,

Would it be weird to hurry up and finish my coffee and get ready so I can go to starbs to work on this?

Depending what I end up doing tonight, my plan is to either do my workout after work tonight, or do it tomorrow, and start week two on Sunday so that the schedule will be right for next week. Honestly, if I have two days off why wouldn’t I want them to be on Friday and Saturday?  

Happy Friday Y’all

// T25 Day 4//

Tbh I really didn’t like todays workout for a few reasons.

1. I really just wan’t into it

2. There isn’t enough space in my room 

3. This video went so fast between exercises! I’m doing it on my laptop not on a tv for one thing, so a fe times I had to reposition my computer so I would be able to see it, but despite that because there was so much floor work, there is a lot more movement between the exercises, the names of the next exercise doesn’t always make sense to me, and for someone who had never done the workout before it was just too fast.

The last one was really the biggest thing, but it also severely contributed to number one as the video went on. If it were a real class at a gym I would’ve just felt awkward and out of place.

I still did as many of the exercises as I could, I’m just saying it didn’t feel like my best workout.

I am pretty proud that I haven’t missed any days yet, even though I’m only four days in. My eating and water intake has been pretty spot on, and I want you all to know that I’ve been sticking to my beauty regime as well. Moisturizing nightly, flossing, washing my face, all that good shit.

I still may not be waking up as early as I’d like to, but I am happy that I seem to be making better use of my time.

Thank god today is ab day, because I am in PAIN (especially my upper body!).

I’m feeling lazy and just want to take today off, but I’m not gonna, you guys.

But seriously, it hurts to move my arms or to life them in any way. wahhh.

Life goals for today:

1. Workout

2. Work on my articles for the week.

Those are the two biggest things ANDDD I’d still really like to make it to the fruit stand today, but we shall see.

Also, is it just me, or does this beautiful weather just make you want to walk around outsdie drinking iced coffees all day?

Day 3 lookin cute as fuhhhh
Today’s workout was okay. My main problem was that there was a ton of plank position stuff and I hurt my toe awhile ago. Also there was a lot more movement in this video and I have very little space, but I think all in all, it was alright.
Unfortunately there won’t be time to pick up any groceries before work. Such is life. I just want oranges and strawberries SO BAD, but I want to go to this fruit stand by my house because they always have things really cheap so hopefully I’ll get there tomorrow :)

Day 3 lookin cute as fuhhhh

Today’s workout was okay. My main problem was that there was a ton of plank position stuff and I hurt my toe awhile ago. Also there was a lot more movement in this video and I have very little space, but I think all in all, it was alright.

Unfortunately there won’t be time to pick up any groceries before work. Such is life. I just want oranges and strawberries SO BAD, but I want to go to this fruit stand by my house because they always have things really cheap so hopefully I’ll get there tomorrow :)

Kristen, 22, Toronto, On. SW: 213.
CW: 170.
GW: 135-140?